Saturday, August 6, 2011

She's Gone Country



I'm not sure if it is unique to my family or if many others suffer the same condition, but the event of the summer is the county fair. Even before my sister and I got our first pet rabbits, we entered art, crafts, and other projects into the open class at our county fair.

In case you aren't a fervent fair follower, each ribbon has a dollar amount on its little shiny white, red, or blue head: worth $1, $2, or $3 respectively. If you are determined enough, you can make bank by freely entering projects and collecting this "premium" money. This is how I used to make all my spending money throughout my childhood, and one year I made over $200 this way.

However, after we got our rabbits, everything changed. With these furry critters, came a major life change for us: 4-H. We joined this organization knowing absolutely nothing about rabbits or how to show them. That year at fair I worked hard enough to get reserve grand champion rabbit showman. Over the next three years I took more animals, leading up to geese, ducks, a market lamb, market rabbit, production doe, and yearling Shetland ewe, gaining more knowledge and confidence showing my animals every year.




I joined 4-H relatively late in life, I was already in 8th grade for my first year in my club. Adding to this, I made the decision to graduate early from high school, thereby cutting my 4-H career down to just four years. I ended up winning grand champion small animal showman and grand champion sheep showman, as well as scholarships, so I was quite happy with my short, but sweet 4-H career.

My sister however is still just getting started in this wonderful program, so this summer's eventing was all hers. She took two chickens, a market lamb, market goat, and Shetland ewe lamb (with castrated male companion) to fair this year.

Generally every year there has to be some sort of drama, either within our club, or externally. Usually these events can be looked back on with some humor, but during the week spent at fair, they stress people out immensely.

One year a steer bucked loose of his handler during a bath, pried up a livestock gate, and rampaged through the fair midway before being captured. One year the rabbit judge decided anyone who didn't have paperwork for their market animal automatically got a red. One year some idiotic fair-goers tried feeding gum to a litter of baby rabbits. One year a woman brought her dog into the livestock barn causing tremendous upheaval. One year a fair-goer tried to kiss someone else's horse and got bitten on the face. And this is just the external drama...

I am an odd age between the current batch of members in my old 4-H club and their parents, spending about an equal time with both groups. Most of the youth are determined to have fun, yet still serious about keeping their animals clean and showing to the best of their abilities. The parents are extremely helpful, borderline overbearing (or "pageant moms" as the 4-Her's like to call them), reminding their children, and sometimes others', what they should be doing or where they should be.

Fair organization is often a mess as far as show times go. There are two types of shows, conformation and showmanship. In conformation, the judge evaluates the animal, its structure, and how well it embodies its ultimate purpose (dairy, meat, wool, etc.). In showmanship, the judge evaluates the person showing the animal. The animal should be well groomed, well fed, and well handled. This is the big shebang- the epitome of a summer livestock competition. For every animal you take you must do showmanship, but don't necessarily have to do conformation.

It's easy when children only have one species to show. But for those like my overachieving sister having four species with two shows each, things can get a little hairy.



This year's fair started up without a hitch, my sister winning reserve champion rabbit showman for her age group. But then her two rabbits both received reds, conformationally, for being "too rough". Carrying one rabbit proudly up to the judge, she retorted, "well he should be rough, he's ten years old." The judge laughed and wholeheartedly agreed, as the average lifespan for a rabbit is only about seven or eight years, especially if kept outdoors like hers had been.

Tricky thing about showing animals is keeping them in tip-top condition for their shows. All animals, except rabbits, require baths to be clean. With the chickens washed a few days in advance, all my sister had to focus on was her goat and market lamb. As my sister worked hard with her goat, trimming his hooves and clipping stray hair from his coat, I walked into the large animal barn and found a small crowd gathered in front of her market lamb's pen.

The lamb was laying down in the corner. His shortly shorn white wool had a handful of red marks on his shoulder. Following the curve of his neck up to his head, I saw the cause. The lamb's ear was shucked like an ear of corn, the felt-like black skin of the ear torn away revealing the bloody mess of capillaries underneath.

Glancing sidelong at the nervous crowd I saw that no one was reacting. The lamb and bystanders were all in shock. A member of our club was in the pen already, obviously he was the one who had found the lamb this way, so I asked him what had happened. He said that the lamb had gotten its ear tag caught on the fence somewhere and had ripped it loose. Looking about the pen I quickly saw the dismembered ear flap wrapped around a part of the corner fence.

My sister still didn't know about this tragedy. I had to be the one to tell her. As soon as she heard the news she burst into tears, convinced the incident was her fault. I ran back the barn to try to treat the wound.

Unfortunately some adults think they know better than anyone else, and when I came back to the pen, one of the superintendents was scrubbing at the bloody ear with a wash cloth. Obviously this is one of the absolute worst things to do in this situation. The rag was nowhere near sterile and the rough surface was making the ear raw and bleed profusely again. I quickly relieved her of her self-appointed duties. As she left the pen, she committed the number one sin of any livestock owner, leaving the gate open. The wounded lamb was out like a flash, sprinting down the barn's rows.

Any child raised in 4-H is taught to apprehend any loose animal that comes near him or her. One of my sister's best friends caught up with the lamb, and although confused by my unintelligible shouts, caught the escapee. It was only after the grab that she found out that I was trying to protect her clean white show shirt from the remarkable staining powers of blood.

The lamb was returned to his pen and after a few mists with an antibiotic spray and the red stains washed out of his coat, I figured the lamb would do best if just left for observation. He was given clean water and I watched the bleeding stop as the blood coagulated.

Outside the pen, our leader posted a perfect little handwritten sign stating, "Yes, we know the lamb is injured. It has been treated and the veterinarian has been notified. Lesson learned: being a farmer is hard work!"

After I made sure that my sister wouldn't be docked points in conformation or showmanship for this horrendous accident, I handed the superintendent the severed ear, still complete with identification tag, (just in case she still needed the number), and went to console my sister.

Mind you, this was still early in the day. My sister still had to show her little ewe and this mutilated lamb for conformation, as well as her goat showmanship. I watched her as she spaced out at nothing in particular. Knowing her since the hour she was born has more than taught me when something is wrong with my little sister, so I took her aside and asked her what was wrong. She started sobbing and related between breaths how her lamb's injury was her fault and if she was there she could've prevented it and, and...

Quickly I shut her down, telling her that nothing she could've done would've made this situation any better. He's a market animal, going to be butchered in less than a week, and his ear is already healing. She finally calmed down and I mentioned to be thankful that it wasn't her prized pet ewe or wether. I reminded her that I had something much worse happen to my beloved sheep last year, involving a log truck and the hard unforgiving asphalt.

She pulled herself together and showed that lamb with only one minor upset with a red ribbon for his conformation. Then, after lunch and another heart-to-heart, came goat showmanship. She lead that goat out into the ring, and looked like a new girl. As the show wore on, it became clear that she was doing well. Her golden hair, confidence, and beautiful smile made her pop in the show-ring. She won reserve champion goat showman, her first year taking a goat to fair.


Snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, my sister continued on her winning streak with a plethora of blue-colored placings, three champion ribbons for her static exhibits (a felted purse, punch-rug pillow, and embroidered hand towel), as well as two trophies: "Grand Champion Wearable Art Fashion Revue" and "Outstanding Intermediate/Senior Livestock Showman". The latter is a singularly unique award in the fact that the recipient has to be nominated, then the nominees are voted on by the 4-H club leaders. No doubt due to her handling of the lamb-ear tragedy, this award is a great honor.

Despite all the pandemonium this fair produced, my sister is an amazing trooper. She plowed through it all and came out on top. We all learned a great deal this summer and can look back on the experience now with a chuckle of amazement at how messy and chaotic things got.

One thing I know for certain is that I couldn't be more proud of my baby sister.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Musings from the Air

Thank god for First Class. I surely would've killed someone otherwise.
Spending 24 hours scuttling around the world at 33,000 feet up is trying. 
In my last 36 hours, I’ve had two meals, three cups of coffee, and all four hours of sleep in the air. I’ve been in three countries and four airports. 

I have euros, British pounds, and US dollars in my wallet. My purse holds a hand written emergency itinerary, in smudged blue ink and my sloppy mannish handwriting, a passport filled with boarding pass stubs and a few fresh stamps, and handfuls of stolen chocolates from my former hotel, which was my home for these past three weeks.

This final voyage began with a decision that it would be better not to sleep at all, rather than only get four hours of sleep before departing to the Malta Airport at 5:30 in the morning, a decision that is still in the process of being deemed positive or negative.
One hop to London Heathrow, another to Atlanta, Georgia, and finally the long awaited, inevitable, mispronunciation of my state’s name upon boarding the final jump to Portland.

It is a well-established feeling for me, first stepping off the plane and being welcomed by the horrendously patterned carpet of PDX. My sigh of relief is answered by clean, fresh air, filtered by all types of trees. It’s the homestretch.


It’s been expressed, in more ways than I can count, that you never really appreciate home until you’ve been somewhere really different for a while.


Malta is a beautiful country: beautiful land, sea, food, and people. At least 90% of the buildings I saw during my stay were made from hand carved limestone bricks. I’ve never eaten so much seafood in my life. I’ve never been so experimental with my food either, eating during my stay there:  horse, rabbit liver, octopus, squid, whole fried fish, and eel. Also, since the legal drinking age is 16, I also had a couple of drinks, none especially to my liking, making me realize that I will take still water over most choices at the end of the day. Yes, still water. If you don’t say that, then you get the bubbly kind, and that stuff is just a little too funky for me.

Letting your mind allow people to drive on the right side of the car, on the left side of the road takes a while to get used to. Remembering that all that useless pocket change you amass is actually worth a lot here, with two and one euro pieces, compared to our biggest common amount coin, the quarter. They do have a lot of coins here though: two euro, one euro, 50 cents, 20 cents, 10 cents, five cents, two cents, and one cent. Perhaps a little excessive, I don’t know.

The climate is arid. Every day the temperature is within a couple degrees of most of the days preceding it. I saw maybe three clouds during my whole stay. Only three millimeters of rain annually. The island’s inhabitants almost shit themselves when you tell them about the per annum precipitation Oregon regularly exceeds.

Plopped down right in the middle of the Mediterranean, Malta has amazing costal waters. Cerulean waters yield a new diver’s paradise with an innumerable amount of sea life, commercial wrecks, and clean environments. With much fondness for the dive shop that hosted me, I became open water scuba certified in three days. The last day of my visit in Malta I went on a wreck dive to a WW2 gunship the Maori, sunk just out of Valletta, the capital. And ironically, unbeknownst to me until we got to the wreck, in the water right where we were filming for over a week.

I’ve always loved swimming. I never remember not being able to swim, and my parents have more stories than I can recount of having to drag me out of the ocean, a pond, or even the chilled water of my bathtub. The first thing I thought when I reached the surface from my first dive was, “Why the hell haven’t I done this sooner?”

I’m absolutely entranced by the feeling of neutral buoyancy, finding organisms I have only read about, seen on TV, or behind the glass in an aquarium, and being one with the environment- undergoing a transformation from a clumsy, bipedal, terrestrial mammal, to that of a graceful, peaceful, aquatic observer. Nothing I have ever done has suited me better. Just the highlights of what I saw were octopi, cuttlefish, seahorse, flying fish, and an angry looking moray eel. Not to mention the ever-changing surrounding fish populations, my favorites are the curious small brown fish that hang in suspension mid-water, that will swim right up to you to stare into your mask. Even watching your bubbled exhalations expand as they float up to the surface is fascinating.


All of this, however, was crammed into a few days off. Most of my time was spent working. Simply, World War Z is a recount of post-WWZ, a story of zombie epidemic war and how humans work it all out. It looks like it is going to be an amazing film; although I have a feeling it will be nothing like the book it is based off of.

My dad asked me what stuck me most about being involved on a film set. (It might surprise you, but even though my father has been in this industry for over ten years, I have only been to one other set before this [Stealth in Australia]). My response to his question was the number of people it took.

All the filming done at this location won’t equal more than five minutes in the final film. Before working on this movie, I never really thought about how many people it took to make a film. Sub-consciously my guess was probably three: director, cameraman, and that guy who holds that big stick with the fuzzy gray thing on the end. This being said, a low estimate of the number of crew (not extras or other actors) on location here was easily 600 individuals. 

I can’t begin to describe to you all of their various jobs. The company I worked with, Spydercam, is the leading aerial camera system in the industry. But what we fly is a huge collaboration between many various departments. There’s obviously the camera, which is attended by at least five people directly to change filters, lenses, check connections, etc. The camera is attached to the Libra head, a mechanism that allows the camera to spin and swivel, adding extra movement to the shot. Two technicians install Libra heads and there is an operator. Then there is sound, the Director of Photography analyzes each shot, visual effects people, a person downloading the visual information to the monitor, and in one case two people had to catch the camera package each time it dropped off of a building for a particular shot. All of the previous descriptions are just what and who I saw, there are countless others behind the scenes that make what each department does possible and most shots of this type last less than five seconds.

It is truly amazing. It would make for an eye-opening documentary, because, really, who stays to read all the credits at the end of a movie? They’re so long, but each name and company listed at the end of the film played a vital part in making what you watched possible. Then there are always hundreds of people who go uncredited as well. Next time you go see a movie, take time to peruse the names as the scroll by, it’s the least you can do. Because (and yes, I dare to use the infinitive here) no one on the set goes through the filming process without some major concerns of developing ulcers from worry and anxiety.

Hell, I mean, even what I did, which was low-man work on the totem pole of a film crew, scared the shit out of me. Things like directing a crane to lowering our ridiculously expensive equipment onto the roof of a 12 story condemned grain tower, or learning to drive a gradall on a narrow pier with equipment trucks on one side and the ocean on the other. A slight miscalculation at either one of those activities would end in expensive disaster.


As I watch sporadic flashes of light in the clouds from my airplane window, I have to agree with Norah Jones and her song, in that lighting from top of the clouds is beautiful.


 Finishing up this post from my living room, watching my mother outside wreaking havoc on any weed unfortunate enough to have tried to homestead in one of her flower beds, and listening to my father and sister screaming upstairs at each goal, save, and play in the Women’s World Cup, I know this where I’m supposed to be.

I love traveling and plan to visit many other countries in my future, but after three busy weeks in a country where “thank you” is pronounced “grazie”, and restrooms are simply  referred to as the "toilets", I couldn’t be happier anywhere other than Mt. Hood, Oregon right now. 



Sunday, May 8, 2011

Top Ten Future Husbands

As I grow older I realize that there is no magical Disney prince out there waiting to rescue me, especially from this Chemistry homework I don't understand. So, as is natural at this point in my life, I'm considering polygamy as a feasible option for my marital future. Of course, it would be polyandrous, meaning that I would amass a truly amazing entourage of men. On that note, here is a quick list of the top ten males that I will pursue:

10. Anderson Cooper
Silver fox to the max and with a totally bad-ass first name, Anderson makes my #10 spot on this future husbands list. He's calm and collected, a talented news reporter, writer, and (apparently) narrator of Broadway shows. Unfortunately, he may bat for the other team...

9. William Wallace from Braveheart
Braveheart is the best movie ever invented, and Wallace's bravery, loyalty, wit, and charm help him win this spot on the countdown. Not to mention the accent is a plus.

8. Seth Rogen
After the movie Paul, Seth solidified his spot on this list. Despite that he only voiced his role in the film, his deep laugh and unending stream of raunchy jokes totally won me over. He absolutely pulls of the nerdy look too. I mean, just look at him. He's adorable.

7. Johnny Clegg
Johnny's been my boy for, oh say, about 18 years now. I've been to two of his concerts and his energy on stage is captivating. His involvement in standing up against apartheid in South Africa is legendary, his songs are timeless, and he has the best British accent. The only thing keeping him from the top of the list is the fact there's a 40 year age difference.

6. Gerard Butler
Gerard is just a super attractive guy. He works the unshaven face look. He first won me over in P.S. I Love You, then again, surprisingly, in The Ugly Truth. Great singing voice as noted in the film Phantom of the Opera. Intelligent enough to be a lawyer. Accent, check! 

5. Ryan Bingham
Keeping true to my roots, I have to have a cowboy on the list, and although Ryan is a relatively new find for me, he's been nothing short of amazing. With a voice that's seen its share of hard times, this Texan sings with true soul. His tracks from the film Crazy Heart add a huge amount of integrity to the movie. He will probably continue making his way up the list.

4. Andy Samberg
Andy is the biggest goober I've ever seen. I've been a fan of his SNL digital shorts and Lonely Island work since before "Dick in a Box". He's a brilliant comedian and has a "fine, workable" singing voice. He seems like a really resilient person who can take downfalls and turn them to his advantage. Thanks to Andy, whenever I hear someone say "Step one..." I immediately think "cut a hole in the box!"

3. Daniel Craig
Gaahh!Brilliant blue eyes, great accent, and he's the best 007 I've ever seen. (True, he is the only James Bond I've ever known, but honestly I don't think anyone, especially Sean Connery could top him.) Brave, stable, and super manly, what more do you want?

2. Will Ferrell
I've been planning to marry Will for quite a while now. He's so hilarious. Sure he might play the same idiotic-type character over and over again, but he plays them with such mastery his skill can't be ignored. With roots at SNL he's got double the points for his comic chops.

1. I used to have Chris Hemsworth in this position. As time goes on, I realize that the only reason I had that was because I didn't really know who to say was my #1. Looking through the other men on the list, I think it would have to be some combination of all the qualities I listed, if that exists.

But here are a couple pictures of Hemsworth, just because that never hurts…