Security Questions

So I'm tired of using glory technology of the olden days and having to physically send my Internet bill payments via mail. It just doesn't make any sense that I should have to be buying stamps in this day and age. Seeing as they're the ones providing me with Internet, that should be the easiest bill to pay online, right?

But here I am. I can't remember my username or password for their stupid website.

After about 15 minutes, I finally guess the username right, but the password is still a no-go. So what do they give me? A security question.

Normally this isn't such a big deal, except that apparently I was high when I picked it, so my security question is "The name of my favorite pet."

Faaack.

This wouldn't be too hard if I didn't have so many animals...


I try "Bevin", my favorite sheep who had vocal powers that would make your ears bleed.
Nope

Snowden, my dog-like sheep that got hit by a log tuck and lived?
No

Sweet Pea, my ironically named, crotchety, old cat that I've had since I was 9?
Nope

Ballerina, my 4-H bunny who gave me my first experience with the miracle of life?
Hahaha cute... no. 

Jasper, my lion-cat with the sparkling blue eyes?
Uh, no. 

Commodore Zoomy, my 4-H goose that thought I was his mother?
WTF? Who names an animal that?

Bubbles, the pet rat that would hang out on my shoulder for hours?
Negativo

Was I being sarcastic, did I put Lily, that crazy slobbering mutt?
Wrong again

As far as totals go, in my life, I've lived amongst two dogs, five rats, one guinea pig, about 60 rabbits, nine cats, nine sheep, three hermit crabs, one very angry leopard gecko, five alpacas, five geese, seven ducks, and countless fish and chickens. Of those, I could only call a handful worthy of "favorite" status, but apparently Past-Kaya had a secret favorite that's not on the normal list, which Present-Kaya finds little disturbing. Amnesia?

 

Weeks later and I still have no idea what the answer is to that question.
I'm still buying stamps to pay my Internet bill.